Submissive expectations in an established relationship cannot be used to define the dominance one receives.
Likewise, our expectations/wants in our relationship with God cannot define/redefine how God deems fit to nurture our souls.
The Lord has been showing me that my expectations of how I want Him to nurture me does not change how He will form my soul. The Lord best knows how to form my soul, so I will not ask Him to change His plans (because wouldn’t that be silly?). I only have to be concerned about how I live my role as His child; to submit fully to Him.