our lady perpetual help

I’m not sure how to respond to my emotions; a mix of nervousness, anxiety and sorrow.

I have come across an idea that you can observe your emotions as a relatively detached observer rather than being swept up in them. While this has helped me to reduce the importance that I place on my emotional experiences, I still experience my emotions with equal intensity. Needless to say, this is very uncomfortable when the emotions are unpleasant.

Another idea that I have come across is the ideal of not being attached to good feelings. This has helped me to not stress and worry about being happy all the time and having pleasant emotional experiences all the time. But as i said before, the intensity of my unpleasant emotions are not diminished by this idea.

Another idea that I subscribe to is to bear patiently with the unpleasant emotions, offering them up to God. This has helped me to wait out the unpleasant times and also make meaning out of my suffering.

What I really struggle with however, is how to be fully alive during my experiences of unpleasant emotions; particularly the emotions of sorrow and anxiety.

Sometimes, I want to cry my heart out or just lie in bed all day. But hold myself back from doing these things because I don’t want to cause my husband to experience unpleasant emotions himself (pity and sadness I imagine).

Other times, I want to avoid the circumstances that are stimulating my anxiety (chiefly going into the CBD or taking public transport).

What does help me to bear with the unpleasant emotions is to engage in study or to immerse myself into things of God (eg. spiritual reading, DVD programs, movies about the Saints, praying, etc.).

If I don’t do any of the things I mentioned above, my heart feels more and more consumed by sorrow and anxiety and I feel like I’m imploding.