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"Mary kept all these things, pondering them in her heart." – Luke 2:19 (RSV)

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2016 Resolutions

chastity project resolutions

Today I read an article titled ‘How to Succeed at Your New Year’s Resolutions‘ by Hudson Byblow.

Step 1: Stop aiming to change your actions.

Instead of simply trying to change your actions, aim to change your heart. If you open your heart to God’s grace, your heart will be changed, and your actions will follow suit.

Step 2: There is no step 2. Step 1 is all you need to do… over and over and over again.

When we aim to modify our hearts, we can shift our focus from saying “NO” to “stuff” to saying “YES” to God…

We become who we practice to be; we become a further entrenched version of who we are today. It’s that simple…

And here I am today, making the resolution to open my heart to Christ fully—and to no longer pretend that putting a Band-Aid on a bursting dam will solve the leak. Today I rebuild the dam, one YES at a time.

These are my “little victories,” and by the grace of God, they have helped me become who I am today.

As for resolutions? Just one.

– Hudson Byblow, How to Succeed at Your New Year’s Resolutions

My Dad also suggested that we make 4 resolutions this year as a family activity. Each person would make 4 goals that they want to work on in 2016 and share them with the family if they want to. The 4 goals will be based on the 4 pillars of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

  1. Study (Part One: The profession of faith)
  2. Sacraments (Part Two: The sacraments of faith)
  3. Service (Part Three: The life of faith)
  4. Prayer (Part Four: Prayer in the life of faith)

While this is a wonderful family activity, I think that asking people to change their actions without changing their hearts is a less beautiful approach than asking people to change from the inside out; that is, to allow Christ to change their hearts and therefore their actions.

I am reluctant to make these 4 resolutions now because I don’t know what is best for me. But I know that God does! So I’ll leave it up to Him to bring me where He will and to form my soul the way He wants. All I ask the Lord is to tell me what He wants me to do, and then help me on every step of the way.

Beware of despairing about yourself; you are commanded to place your trust in God, and not in yourself

– St. Augustine

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Suffering

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I have been thinking about suffering a lot recently. I’ve been worried about going through suffering in the future; the suffering of infertility and the suffering of being physically separated from my husband.

During Mass and Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament today I prayed a lot about the topic of suffering in my life and thought of St. Therese. I will drink from the cup of suffering if my Lord offers it to me because I trust Him.

Childlike trust

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When I read ‘Story of a Soul’ by St. Therese of Lisieux, I was captivated by her childlike trust in God. Ever since then, I’ve been trying to imitate her Little Way. Fortunately, my Lord has been teaching me how to.

At the moment, my understanding of having childlike trust in the Lord is to place my trust in the Lord and not in myself; it is to be so full of trust that I can fall asleep in God’s arms.

Beware of despairing about yourself; you are commanded to place your trust in God, and not in yourself

– St. Augustine

 

The Little Way

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St Therese is my favourite saint after Our Lady. I love her little way of spiritual childhood. It allows me to be little all the time.

Today my husband reminded me that if I want to imitate St. Therese’s little way, then I also need to be childlike to him. I need to tell him everything I think about, especially if I don’t know how to express it. I need to be like an open book to him so that he has all the information he needs to look after me as best he can.

I read this quote by St. John Chrysostom today and it really reminded me of the attitude my husband has towards me; all he wants is for me to be in heaven.

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The journey Home

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We are designed to be united with the Holy Trinity. That is our home; where our hearts find rest. We are only pilgrims on this earth. Saint Augustine said, “You made us for yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

I read this article today and it touched my heart. When I finished reading it I realised in a new way that we all need to be continually converted to Jesus. Whether we’re Catholic Christian or no, we most likely are not completely united to the Sacred Heart of Jesus (unless we are already Saints on earth).

There are many paths to this communion with God, but not all of them are the most efficient or easiest paths. The path that supplies us with the objective truth of things would logically be the quickest path; like using a GPS that has the most updated map instead of an outdated one.

As Catholic Christians, we believe that the Catholic Church is the most updated GPS map and therefore the most efficient and accurate way to union with God (that’s why Jesus gave the key to Saint Peter). However, while we have access to this up to date and accurate map, we might often choose to disregard it or disobey its instructions. Fortunately, the GPS will always recalculate the fastest route to our destination no matter how many times we stray. With the most up to date map we can trust that we will be instructed to drive along the most efficient way towards our destination; union with the Lover of our souls, the Holy Trinity.

If we trust an outdated map (the analogy is for one that is not in full communion with the Catholic Church), then we would naturally run into road blocks or take unnecessary detours. We would probably end up at our destination eventually but it would take a much much longer route then is necessary.

Fortunately, we can easily update our GPS with the most up to date map if we choose to. All it takes is to stop the car, pull out our gear and update the map.

The objective truth is out there, it is accessible, it is simple. The one objective truth is made available to the world by the Catholic Church that continually tries its best to present it in its fullness, we only have to approach it with a prayerful and humble heart asking the Lord to help us understand it in His time (not ours).

Often times even Catholics with the best intentions can not fully understand the truth presented by the Church. I think this is because the Lord reveals truth in its entirety to humble and little hearts who are open to it (as He has said so many times before in the Gospels).

Sometimes we are unsure if the map we are using is accurate because there are so many different version of maps out there in the world. Sometimes we want to see if others who used the map we are using arrived at their destination efficiently and in the best way possible. Fortunately, this can be verified by reading the writings of those who have completed the journey and have safely arrived at their destination. Reading the writings of the early Church fathers, the Saints who have walked on this earth would certainly be one way to do this.

A book that helped me update my map 2 months ago was Saint Therese’s ‘Story of a Soul’. I had been a Catholic my whole life but I was using an outdated map before I read her book. After I read what Saint Therese the Little Flower wrote, I was able to search for the most updated version of the map and update my GPS. After I did, I saw how congruent the Bible, the teachings & traditions of the Catholic Church (eg. Holy Mass, the Holy Rosary), and the writings of the Saints (eg. St. Augustine, St. Therese, St. Fatima, St. John Paul II) really were. But what delighted my heart even more was how relevant all of these were to my soul’s journey to union with my Lord. I started seeing tangible, consistent, and sustained change in my life since I updated my map 2 months ago, and I am continually amazed at what a difference using an updated map made in my soul’s journey to its home in the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

This is just a short expression of my thoughts on the subject of objective truth and how it is so crucially relevant to my life. Great minds have written books and books on this topic, so this is but a drop in the ocean of thought on the subject.

My prayer is that all souls (Catholic Christian or no) on this earth and in purgatory will be united to the most Holy Trinity, a purpose for which we are designed for since the beginning of time.

Our Lady of Fatima, pray for us.

Complete submission

st therese give

I have said many times that St Therese the Little Flower is my favourite saint (after Our Lady of course). She is my favourite because her writings always help me refocus on my total power exchange with my husband and with my God.

Recently I’ve been thinking about what it means for two to “become one flesh” in relation to marriage and in communion with my Lord. I had been pondering and mulling over this in my heart for a few days and finally when I read this quote my heart knew that it had found the answer to its question.

The only way two can become one is through the mutual total giving of self to the other. In submitting without reserve to God and my husband, I give myself completely to them. In accepting the loving dominance of God and my husband, I allow them to give themselves completely to me.

Submitting without reserve is of course a very high ideal which can be reached. At the same time I will also acknowledge that it is an ideal that I fall short of for now. I believe and pray that my Lord Jesus will hold my hand and with infinite tenderness guide me towards this beautiful standard. Of course my husband will also allow the Lord to use him to teach me this along the way.

In the meantime, I will remember not to “become discouraged over [my] failings, for children fall often, but they are too little to hurt themselves very much” (- St. Therese the Little Flower)

Why I love the Extraordinary (Latin) form of the Mass

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I love the Latin Mass so much! It is surprising to me that I do because the whole Mass is in Latin and I don’t understand Latin at all. But this is precisely the reason why I love the Latin Mass.

Because I cannot understand the prayers that are being said during the Mass, I can say to Jesus “I want to pray what the priest prays”. And just like a child who is unable to speak, I can spend the Mass in silence uniting myself with the prayers of the priest and allowing Jesus and Mary to form my soul.

In the Latin Mass I am able to be more childlike than in the Ordinary (English) form of the Mass because I don’t understand the language! I just have to trust the priest, Jesus and Mary to lead me in prayer to a greater extent than if I did understand the words being said.

And because I can be more childlike, my soul is able to accept more readily and eagerly the graces that Jesus wants to pour out on souls especially during Holy Mass.

Questions

st-augustine-of-hippo
St. Augustine of Hippo (354-430AD)

Need it concern me if some people cannot understand this (in reference to Divine & objective truths/realities)? Let them ask what it means, and be glad to ask: but they may content themselves with the question alone. For it is better for them to find you and leave the question unanswered then to find the answer without finding you.

– St. Augustine of Hippo, Confessions

For a person without faith, no explanation is sufficient, but for a person with faith, no explanation is needed.

– My Dad

I never really understood the quotes above until recently.

I’ve always thought that I need to understand everything. To read all there is to read about a topic that I don’t understand in order to comprehend it as best I can.

Now, I am happy for many questions that I have to go unanswered because I know that I don’t need the answer to them to find my Lord Jesus. And when I have encountered Him, my desire to have my questions answered disappears. What value does knowledge hold for me when I have the One whom I have been designed for?

This is so counter intuitive and perhaps why the Lord says across the centuries that He reveals truth to souls who are little and humble. It takes a childlike soul to accept the Divine truths which are so different from the ways of the world.

Our Lady Help of Christians, pray for us.

Everything is grace

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My Lord has been teaching me that everything is grace. I will place my trust in my Lord instead of in myself.

This way of thinking is so different from what I have been used to. Society tells us that we need to believe in ourselves and trust ourselves. But my Lord has been showing me a different way. He teaches me that it is more beautiful to believe in Him rather than myself, and to trust in Him rather than myself.

Every day I learn this in a new and beautiful way. The Lord always shows me my weaknesses and frailty and how I cannot depend on myself, and then with infinite tenderness He shows me how I can just trust in Him to be the One who will form my soul.

So I believe that everything is grace from God. Everything good that I can do is a grace from God. On my own I can do nothing good. Nothing. It is so clear. It is so freeing. Why? Because now that I acknowledge that I can do nothing good on my own, I can now just focus on accepting the graces that the Lord wants to pour out upon me. All I have to do now is to choose in every moment to do the best that I can and trust that the Lord will form my soul in His time and in the way that He deems best.

Some say that we are the sum of our strengths. I see truth in this but I cannot completely agree with it. I believe that our dignity and what defines us is not what we can or cannot do, but the simple truth that we were, are, and always will be loved into existence by the One who is Love itself. Nothing can change this because “who is like God” who can undo what the Lord has done? No one.

Our Lady Star of the Sea, pray for us.

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