Being corrected when I lose focus
I lost focus today and got into lots of trouble with my husband. I didn’t break the rules intentionally but broke them because I wasn’t focusing on my submission and what I need to do in our total power exchange.
Losing focus of our TPE doesn’t mean that it is not important to me, it just means that I’m imperfect. And being imperfect means that I do and will make mistakes. Because of this I am so grateful that my husband will consistently correct me when I do make mistakes in our TPE so that I can get back on track ASAP and enjoy living in submission again.
I see a great parallel with my TPE with my God. Yes, I have a total power exchange relationship with God because I submit to Him and I know that He will be the perfect dominant to me while no one else can.
When I lose focus of my TPE with the Lord He always consistently corrects me with infinite tenderness and love. I lose the peace that I can only find in Him and I tend to look inwards to myself; grasping for wealth, power, honor and pleasure to substitute Him with. There is also usually fear among other creative ways that my Lord corrects me. Like my husband, my Lord corrects me so that I can get back to living what I was designed for; to be united with Him.
Getting back into focus
We become what we worship/value most. What I value most of all is my God and my husband comes second. To become what I value I have to immerse myself in the world of God and my husband. I have to live their law everyday. I love their rules because they set me free! A freedom for excellence to be firstly united with my Lord and secondly a submissive to my husband.
So I guess my way to get back into focus is to go back to the basics, to the rules and law of my God (expressed by the Roman Catholic Church) and that set down for me by my loving husband. Both have created these boundaries for me so that I can be free to be excellent in what I desire most; communion with my Lord and submission to my husband.